I think in order to move on from something – fully move on – you need a complete change of situation.
You have to break habits, push boundaries, escape your comfort zone for a bit. And accept that it will hurt, and that it will be painful. I think you have to just breathe through that pain for a while until you can’t feel it anymore. Or at least, feel it less… You know?
I’ve done it several times in life – with friends, with boys, and most importantly, with my body during periods of huge and very rapid changes in weight after struggling with anorexia, bulimia and binge eating.
The more I experience things, the more I realise that. You have to move on. You won’t find happiness in the past, no matter how much you want to. For a very long time post-eating disorder chaos, I shut myself away from the world.
I really felt like I switched off part of myself in order to survive – I barely saw my friends, changed jobs, experienced all sorts of incredible things for work and just banished my social life for about a year and a half.
I sort of forgot how to human – especially with relationships. I hated talking about my feelings, hated the idea of being touched, hated the idea of relying on someone else. I really do think however that everything happens for a reason. And if something doesn’t work out, then it was never meant to be.
I had my heart broken recently and whilst it was a painful few weeks, it made me realise that you have to keep trying! I won’t be shutting myself away from the world again, but I also won’t be relapsing.
Back to the present – and the future. Good Things are coming. In fact – perhaps great things have already come.
Sophie x
